Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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