Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I love you.
Bad choice
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