I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
