don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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