tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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