So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
