some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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