Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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