Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We have started to decorate penises.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
