How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
