Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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