I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
