If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
