Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My vagina just recognized that song.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
