how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So much Jack, so little girl.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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