It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
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There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize