I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
