I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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