im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
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The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
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I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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