I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
