Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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