you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
