I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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