he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
