I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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