Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
