proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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