1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
