A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
