bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
