Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
