Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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