Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
