The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize