I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
