just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
