Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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