Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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