I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
