"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
