where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
