and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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