They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
