ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize