if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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