Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
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What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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