First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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