Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?

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  (603): You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular? http://tfl.nu/marg
  Replies (7) Good night (2434) Bad night (682)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My cat gives me a boner

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  (610): My cat gives me a boner http://tfl.nu/df3i
  Replies (29) Good night (941) Bad night (7113)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what did you do?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i asked her out. that's so hot.

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  (203): she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex. (860): what did you do? (203): i asked her out. that's so hot. http://tfl.nu/dg3d
  Replies (56) Good night (9787) Bad night (1072)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  dont u have athletes foot?

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  (214): so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings (1-214): dont u have athletes foot? http://tfl.nu/a028
  Replies (27) Good night (1312) Bad night (5784)
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  (650): View more from California

  im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.

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  (650): im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for. http://tfl.nu/gyhj
  Replies (13) Good night (4449) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer

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  (713): I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer http://tfl.nu/b3qs
  Replies (19) Good night (5970) Bad night (907)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding

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  (904): we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding http://tfl.nu/10zj
  Replies (3) Good night (3359) Bad night (782)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.

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  (610): Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on (484): Who said I was judging? More like congratulating. http://tfl.nu/coiy
  Replies (10) Good night (2334) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season

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  (860): I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season http://tfl.nu/sdcu
  Replies (6) Good night (1871) Bad night (899)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.

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  (360): You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch. http://tfl.nu/13cn
  Replies (5) Good night (3020) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  When in doubt always reply with bacon.

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  (740): Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon. (1-740): When in doubt always reply with bacon. http://tfl.nu/8s4u
  Replies (18) Good night (2997) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?

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  (775): Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"? http://tfl.nu/g7e2
  Replies (8) Good night (1914) Bad night (888)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.

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  (216): We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret. http://tfl.nu/ko6r
  Replies (2) Good night (760) Bad night (382)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...

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  (443): Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume... http://tfl.nu/owv3
  Replies (7) Good night (687) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?

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  (757): So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets? http://tfl.nu/7uj4
  Replies (1) Good night (256) Bad night (201)

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