we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging