Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life

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(504): My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life http://tfl.nu/kko9

Replies (21) Good night (6746) Bad night (1360)
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(208): View more from Idaho

this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...

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(208): this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer... http://tfl.nu/pqdq

Replies (16) Good night (1108) Bad night (3185)
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(636): View more from Missouri

she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.

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(636): she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love. http://tfl.nu/j1yq

Replies (7) Good night (5705) Bad night (988)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

Sacagawea was the original milf.

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(952): Sacagawea was the original milf. http://tfl.nu/8vpz

Replies (39) Good night (5282) Bad night (962)
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(407): View more from Florida

I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.

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(407): I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care. http://tfl.nu/n9k1

Replies (14) Good night (4825) Bad night (715)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.

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(908): ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library. http://tfl.nu/ghke

Replies (34) Good night (7032) Bad night (1315)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.

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(412): You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats. http://tfl.nu/gybz

Replies (35) Good night (1365) Bad night (4128)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.

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(781): Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person. http://tfl.nu/31bd

Replies (3) Good night (2681) Bad night (1380)
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(360): View more from Washington

Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.

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(360): Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning. http://tfl.nu/92kl

Replies (18) Good night (2905) Bad night (822)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.

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(814): Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright. http://tfl.nu/kb3m

Replies (11) Good night (2439) Bad night (724)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.

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(603): He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring. http://tfl.nu/jkgq

Replies (7) Good night (729) Bad night (1209)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher

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(508): Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher http://tfl.nu/j0wm

Replies (3) Good night (1652) Bad night (458)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.

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(307): Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick. http://tfl.nu/ynec

Replies (15) Good night (2303) Bad night (544)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.

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(918): I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated. http://tfl.nu/rg2y

Replies (2) Good night (962) Bad night (409)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up

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(610): I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up http://tfl.nu/42mm

Replies (0) Good night (517) Bad night (461)

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