All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
