Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.

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  (773): Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys. http://tfl.nu/g51j
  Replies (39) Good night (4107) Bad night (1226)
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  (415): View more from California

  fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.

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  (415): fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/i9c0
  Replies (22) Good night (3399) Bad night (815)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??

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  (618): Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking?? http://tfl.nu/g7y8
  Replies (42) Good night (4680) Bad night (1545)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.

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  (732): there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts. http://tfl.nu/wlt6
  Replies (48) Good night (7842) Bad night (2287)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"

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  (512): We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping" http://tfl.nu/lb53
  Replies (7) Good night (2978) Bad night (747)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  She swung at the pinata with crutches

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  (440): She swung at the pinata with crutches http://tfl.nu/dkgf
  Replies (4) Good night (1901) Bad night (1372)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  That's some true roommate bonding right there.

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  (847): Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time. (414): That's some true roommate bonding right there. http://tfl.nu/wbl4
  Replies (3) Good night (1729) Bad night (1017)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.

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  (248): What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy. http://tfl.nu/0mlh
  Replies (14) Good night (2442) Bad night (1028)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.

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  (325): Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul. http://tfl.nu/ljpv
  Replies (8) Good night (1505) Bad night (618)
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  (948): View more from

  He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.

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  (948): He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE. http://tfl.nu/y75n
  Replies (17) Good night (661) Bad night (2569)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Fuck him.

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  (304): When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred. (606): Fuck him. http://tfl.nu/h9q7
  Replies (3) Good night (1494) Bad night (970)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.

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  (615): There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%. http://tfl.nu/531s
  Replies (3) Good night (891) Bad night (386)
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  (310): View more from California

  Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).

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  (310): Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok). http://tfl.nu/yawu
  Replies (2) Good night (968) Bad night (421)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.

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  (608): Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation. http://tfl.nu/yj08
  Replies (1) Good night (801) Bad night (389)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him

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  (832): i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him http://tfl.nu/ixz8
  Replies (2) Good night (443) Bad night (226)

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