have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
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my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
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I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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