she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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