You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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