Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
