just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
