this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
