shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
