I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
