Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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