just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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