I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I lost the right to judge tonight
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
false alarm, still single
Randomize
