Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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