I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize