You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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