it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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