this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
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