So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
